Anonymous wrote, I have decided to be a deadbeat dad because I don’t have otherwise. My baby mama left with the kids to her place. I did my investigations and learnt that she had transferred the kids to another school as well, and I started paying fees there. When she learnt that I was onto her and was already paying school fees, she took the kids to her sister’s place in Nanyuki. I did my investigation again and went to school, where I paid school fees for a whole year. Once she learnt that I had found them again, she went to Mombasa and kept the kids at the home of another sister without even considering I had paid fees for a whole year. I can’t keep on following kids who are living with their mum and yet I am not allowed to see them. I have stopped chasing them and chosen to focus on my marriage and the kids I have now. Even God knows I tried. A man sitting by the window, deep in thought. Kate Choge is a seasoned psychologist; she is the founder of the Conversations of Hope organisation that helps people address mental health issues. TUKO.co.ke reached out to Choge to help the young man who had spoken out about his precarious position, and she offered some helpful insights. Two adults need to talk, fast According to Choge, it seems like the man and his baby mama have unresolved issues, and they may need to solve the problems between them as it is affecting their children. “The man also needs to deal with what he did to warrant him being kept away from the children. He needs to work out that, then look for amicable ways to sort out the issues with his ex and he may have to look into involving other people,” she said. Seek the assistance of the courts Choge was very categorical that giving up on the kids cannot be an option for this man or any other parent who is struggling to get access to their children. “Let him seek legal assistance about the whole issue. Let him talk candidly to a legal representative and have the matter presented in court. And he should prepare, for any outcome from court,” she added.
by Susan Mwenesi