A real Men’s Conference went live on Valentine’s Day for the first time. But it wasn’t what anyone expected.
Earlier this month, award-winning actor and influencer Abel Mutua posted an online video asking, Assuming morio wako ama hata bro wako pale nyumbani anakosea, utamuambia outrightly, Buda manze, rada chafu…. unachoma!
The response sparked a national conversation, and the comments were clear – it was time to talk. And Abel listened.
Men’s Conference, With a Difference
The so-called ‘men’s conference’ has been associated with jokes about avoiding Valentine’s Day. But Abel led a Conference that took a surprising new direction.
On the day, influencers like Mike Muchiri, Nick Kwach, Presenter Ali, The Real Chiche, J Segera, businessmen, Actors, professionals, pastors, fathers and husbands came together to have raw and honest conversations in a safe space.
The topic? A life-threatening issue: violence against women.
With 2024 marking a tragic record of 170 reported femicides, the Conference confronted a painful reality: silence is costing lives
The Uncomfortable Truth
Discussions at the conference centred around a harsh but undeniable fact – in most femicide cases, the perpetrators are men: husbands, boyfriends, and partners.
And it doesn’t start with murder. It begins with everyday violence that goes unchecked and unchallenged.
During the conference, it became clear that not one of the men there believed that violence against women was acceptable. Yet, despite being in the majority, most admitted to staying silent.
Why?
Because of fear of disrespecting their friends, overstepping and thinking, “it’s not my business.” Some simply didn’t know what to say.
By the end of the conference, one phrase stood out. A way for men to speak up without hostility. A way to say, “Bro, that’s not okay,” without turning it into an attack. A way to hold your friends accountable without pushing them away.
Safisha Rada.
Abel Mutua, the host, said: *”This is a cause close to my heart. Last year, I hosted Africa’s largest movie premiere with my film ‘Makosa Ni Yangu’ as a wake-up call for society.
Then, a simple video I posted about holding friends accountable went viral, showing just how much men need a space to have real, honest conversations.
“That’s why we held the first-ever Men’s Conference on Valentine’s Day. It was real, it was raw, and it was necessary. Men from all walks of life showed up, engaged in unfiltered conversations, and acknowledged our role in ending GBV.
“This isn’t about blaming men – it’s about challenging men to be better.”*
For this conference, he teamed up with award-winning director Isaya Evans, who tragically lost his colleague, Lillian, to femicide in November 2023.
Their efforts have been met with support from men across Kenya.
Ferdinand Omanyala, Africa’s fastest man, linked accountability in sports to life:
“In athletics, accountability is everything. You can’t achieve greatness without holding yourself and your teammates to the highest standards. The same applies in life—men must stop excusing bad behaviour.”
Stephen Letoo, Citizen TV’s self-styled Men’s Conference Chairman, urged men to take responsibility:
“It’s time men stood up against vices committed by their peers. We must face each other and tell each other the truth. Let’s start talking. Let’s always speak out.”
John-Allan Namu, award-winning journalist and activist, stressed the power of media in shaping societal attitudes:
“Men in media have a duty to shape the conversation on masculinity, respect, and accountability. Our platforms must amplify the right messages and challenge toxic narratives.”
Martin Kariuki, presenter on Capital FM’s The Jam, called for open and honest dialogue:
“Tusiogopane (Let’s not fear each other). Let’s tell each other the truth openly when one of us goes wrong. Holding each other accountable is the only way forward.”
by DENNIS MILIMO
