Over the weekend, it occurred to me how my friendship with fellow women has become more and more expensive over the years. Once upon a time, before the advent of themed baby showers, all I needed was Sh1,000 when meeting friends. This was enough to cover food and a drink or two. Those were the good old days though, and, no, the depressed economy is not solely to blame.
Nowadays, and I am sure many women reading this will relate, one needs a couple of thousands and an unbudgeted amount for a shopping trip in preparation for a friend’s birthday, bridal or baby shower. This is because every occasion has to have a theme nowadays. Some women even colour-coordinate when attending their monthly chamameeting — woe unto you if you don’t have a magenta top if that is the settled on colour because you will have to overturn this Nairobi upside down in search of one. It is unforgivable to turn up dressed in any colour other than the agreed one, a major faux pas that might just get you kicked out of the chama.
If you see a group of women wearing pink seated on the same table in a restaurant, do not mistake them for a bridal party, they are probably a chama holding their monthly merry-go-round.
This rise of themed occasions means that my wardrobe nowadays looks like a rainbow; I own clothes in every imaginable colour, many of which I might never get to wear again. I once attended a birthday party where it was decided that we would channel cowboys — blue jeans, boots, shirts and cowboy hats. You should have seen me looking for a cowboy hat in pick pocket’s paradise, aka River Road, a cowboy hat that, being a mostly conservative person, I have never worn again. I look at all these things, including a plastic tiara and flower band and I see money that I cannot put to use staring at me, mocking me, especially mid-month when most employed people are forced by circumstances to deny themselves the luxuries they enjoy with abandon at the end of the month.
Oh, most of these themed occasions come with a cake thrown in, which attendees are expected to contribute to. And not just any flavour — since it’s a special occasion, common, cheap flavours like vanilla and strawberry will not do, it has to be ‘exotic’ flavours like Victoria Sponge or chocolate fudge or white chocolate and raspberry. You get the drift. Some of these gatherings are held in the women’s homes, though many take place in upscale restaurants where every single thing you order is billed separately, in other words, the prices in the menu are often tear-inducing, where you receive the chonga-viazi type of bills. You, of course, cannot go into all that trouble of dressing to the nines and not take a photograph, so some either pass by a photo studio, or hire a photographer to take flattering photos. Those on a tight budget make do with phone photos — the idea, at the end of the day, is to record the day.
Thankfully, the women I socialise with have never suggested renting a yacht to celebrate a birthday or attend a chama meeting, therefore so far, I have managed to live within my means.