Ever since the article titled, The kind of man to avoid at all costs featured here, I have been getting not so subtle reminders to share one about the type of woman to avoid. To put this together, I sought the help of men in my circles, and for once, then men could not stop talking! I picked the recurring pointers to share here with you.
The drama queen, described by Mbathi as “the woman who will not let you enjoy your cup of tea or bottle of beer in peace.” He further elaborated. “She is like a toothache or a migraine. She knows no peace and will not give you peace.”
A woman with unresolved anger issues is most definitely going to make your life together very difficult. She will not only constantly pick fights with you, but she will do the same with your relatives, friends and even workmates. She is like a tap with a faulty valve, constantly spilling water.
“Parasitic women”
“The parasitic women,” Alex said, “the ones with a beggarly mentality should be avoided like corona.” You can immediately spot them on the first date because they will ask you to send them fare for the date! They expose themselves to all sorts of danger in the belief that men should pay for their upkeep and chosen lifestyles. She will not do menial jobs or work that requires her to utilise her brain or brawn intensely. “She will marry your money, not add anything to grow it, but the day it dries out, she will run faster than you can say broke!”
The insecure, the one with zilch self-love, has low self-esteem, is unsure of everything about her life, including career and other choices and will expect you to play God in her life. She will forever be seeking affirmation from you, the world, and remain incredibly indecisive.
A man can only love a woman to the extent that she loves herself. Unfortunately, such a woman will also take in anything thrown her way. A woman with a healthy dose of self-love will create boundaries to how anyone in her life treats her.
Avoid the manipulative type. “They are not easy to spot because men, we have a weakness for women who keep praising us,” Macharia says, advising men to be wary of their oversized egos. The manipulative type will spot you and find her way with you, to get what she wants. She is likely to cry foul when you resist her.
For example, some of these women have screamed rape or sexual harassment, yet they intentionally pursued a man but did not get what they wanted. They downplay a serious crime and get away with it because rape is real and rampant against women, so people will often believe them.
Anthony says, “The overly religious type could be hiding her true character in the façade of religion.” To quote Christ, you will know them by their fruit….as not everyone calls him Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom…Matthew 7:20-23. If you do not take your time with the choir girl, you might find yourself experiencing a severe case of cognitive dissonance soon after you are married to her. Please note that there are women who genuinely walk in their faith, but others too are in it as camouflage.
That is why it is essential to take time and hang out with her in different places and scenarios. This will give you ample time to discern the true character of the woman, religious or not. Anthony adds that he was shocked when he realised how mean his very religious wife was towards their live-in house assistant soon after they got married.
“Our house help would make us delicious meals, but she was not allowed to eat them.” His wife had a separate menu for their house help, which mostly included ugali and cabbage or beans and for breakfast, she was only allowed to make herself porridge! His wife also grossly underpaid their house help and constantly quarrelled with her, even for as little mistakes as forgetting to arrange the cutlery as desired. Antony did not want to interfere and have his intentions mistaken. “I cannot keep count of the many houses that we have changed in less than five years of our marriage.”
Lazy, untidy women with no interest in homemaking were also highlighted. BY DAILY NATION