Q: I have been married for five years and we have two children. My problems started when my in-laws came to visit, and they hated me when I requested that they help me with chores. They later left, but the new issue is when they visit they think I want to poison them. I shared this with my hubby and he told me that I should leave them alone. My question is why do they come to my house if they think I want to harm them?
A: You are in a difficult and hurtful situation and I empathise with you. In such a situation it is wise that you turn your focus on learning how to manage pesky in-laws. It is clear that your husband’s family does not like you; so you must accept this as a hard truth since you cannot force them to like you. You can make peace with the fact that you are dealing with people who may never like you and that is okay; it is their problem, not yours. It is also crucial that you talk with your husband concerning the issue especially now that there is a life-threatening claim. Let him talk to them. You may have to stand your ground and let your in-laws know that you will not be run over. Sometimes after in-laws see they cannot push and manipulate you, they back off. Even then, try to avoid a confrontation unless what you are dealing with is open and blatant mistreatment. While I understand how hurt you may be, two wrongs do not make a right. Just because you have in-laws that are unkind does not mean you have to respond the same way. Probably you may have heard that you can kill others with kindness and that is true. This will disarm and catch them off guard. And if you are lucky, this may endear you to them. My best wishes. BY DAILY NATION