Cases of kids exposing their parents for allegedly being toxic have been on the rise.
Most of these kids who are now adults claim the trauma they are currently going through is because of having ‘toxic parents’.
Toxicity can be verbal abuse, physical abuse, favoritism, or berating.
In modern-day society, it is not shocking to find parents favoring kids who are more financially able.
The unemployed,’ less beautiful’ or the single mothers are often picked on.
‘We are living in a generation where people are broken. The current generation of parents we have is because of what they went through trauma, bitterness, etc. If you don’t heal you project those emotions on others and especially to those close to you. We live in a generation where parents are broken, hurt, and trans-ferent. For kids with broken parents (not accommodative, negative’ discouraging, not affirming, non-appreciative) it shows there is a problem.”
“Do not fight with such parents. Forgive such people, you cannot change someone unless they want to change themselves. Do not carry it in your heart. Focus on yourself. If it is too much seek help from people close to you so that you can focus on your well-being.”
Below are experienced Kenyans shared via Amakove Wala’s socials *Jane shared
“My mom is super toxic. She had my elder six at 19 & to date, she really doesn’t acknowledge her at all. My sis has really suffered in this life. She led my dad into depression & my dad later died as a result.
She ran him out of our family home that he’d built, my dad went to rent a single room in Githurai and lived in poverty until his death. She has gone the extra mile to accuse me and spread rumours that I had an affair with my dad which tainted my reputation amongst family members just because I was a daddy’s girl. She kicked my brother out when he was jobless and homeless and he used to borrow places to sleep in friends houses.
One day when he was headed to his friend’s house he got knocked down by a car and died on the spot. She has done unmentionable things to us the surviving children and sometimes I just wish she’s the one who died instead of my sibling & father. Words out of her mouth are like daggers that destroy everyone & everything.”
“Daktari, Growing up in a toxic environment affects your upbringing. Has anyone grown up in a home where there’s no love at all between parents and siblings?When parents can’t even sit down to solve a misunderstanding because it will end up in chaos and grudge holdings for months and cold treatments? Children grow up like weed.
They are days I feel like committing suicide especially when faced with challenges of life because I don’t know who to turn to for guidance and consolation. I have both parents alive but we have a very bad relationship as a family. I have been handling life singlehandedly like I am all alone. Many days I have cried myself to sleep. This has also affected my relationships. Any small issue I see a breakup coming.
I don’t know how to keep friends because I feel they are out to disappoint me or hurt me. I have grown up being so timid. If only we could choose where to be born in. I don’t know how I will even treat my husband in future or my kids when God brings them in future because I’m generally a broken and sad person in real life. I have been praying that God heals me and helps me to get married to a better home.
by PENINAH NJOKI