In most African communities, same-sex marriages are unheard of. Not only are they prohibited, but they are also considered taboos and abominations. Girl child rights’ activists have been empowering the community on the benefits of education and abandoning Nyumba Mboke through music and public forums. Same-sex marriages in Kenya This highly-regarded cultural belief has seen advocates of the LGBTQ community frowned upon across many Kenyan communities and religions. However, the Kuria community of Kenya, which dominantly occupies Migori county, has been holding on to a cultural practice, Nyumba Mboke, that allows women to marry other women. Nyumba Mboke allows a woman-to-woman marriage arrangement, but the union’s liberty does not extend to having intercourse, like in the LGBTQ setup. Same-gender marriage among the Kuria Mawisa Mwita, a Kuria elder, told TUKO.co.ke that Nyumba Mboke is highly valued in the community as it allowed for the continuity of a family lineage in cases where a man’s wife was barren and/or could not bear a male child. The Kuria community perceived male children as the true family members of a particular marriage, as they could continue their father’s lineage. On the other hand, the community perceived female children as wealth, as they would bring dowry to their family when they got married. “In our culture, when a woman fails to bear children for her husband, or fails to bear male children, she is considered barren. The community allows her to marry another woman to bear children on her behalf to continue the man’s lineage,” Mwita explained. She said Nyumba Mboke was a revered cultural belief as it ensured the continuity of one’s family. According to Mwita, Nyumba Mboke, despite having its benefits, has made young girls vulnerable to early and teenage marriages. Teenage pregnancies in Migori Early marriages and female circumcision contribute highly to increasing cases of school dropouts. She said that whenever girls underwent the outlawed female circumcision exercise, they were considered mature and ripe for marriage, despite most of them being below the majority age of 18. “Most teenage girls got pregnant after undergoing female circumcision (FGM). When this happens, their parents prefer to marry them off through Nyumba Mboke arrangements in exchange for a dowry. Few girls resume studies after getting pregnant,” she noted. TUKO.co.ke established that girls who get pregnant before marriage are considered unfit to get married to young boys and are therefore given to women seeking younger girls to help them bear children. This development has watered down the primary goal of Nyumba Mboke, as some parents have turned it into a cash cow. Dowry for education in Migori Some of the girls who were married off through the involuntary Nyumba Mboke approach narrated the abuse and frustrations they faced at the hands of their in-laws. “When you get pregnant as a young girl, the community frowns upon you. Unfortunately, parents would choose to marry one off to another woman to help them get babies as they enjoy the dowry. “While under another woman’s matrimony, the chances of returning to school are completely neutralised. They expect you to be the wife of the home and take care of the entire family, yet you do not have a source of income because you did not complete school and are not working,” said Bhoke, 15, who was married via Nyumba Mboke. She also raised concern that the practice increases one’s risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases like HIV due to the irresponsible behaviours of the men they are compelled to sleep with. “Since you are a young girl, there is nothing you can tell the husband of the woman who married you. Sometimes the men’s wives marry more than one girl with whom the men have intercourse and cannot be questioned,” Bhoke, who was married to a woman identified as Marowa Ghati, disclosed. Early and arranged marriages in Migori Such environments deflate the girls’ self-esteem, pushing them to depression, alcoholism, and other substance addictions in the hope of finding calm. Bhoke was married off after getting pregnant shortly after undergoing the outlawed female cut. She is currently the mother of three children at 15. She said that she was married off to Ghati, who was unable to get male children. Her parents were paid three cows as dowry. “My father later sold the cows and never shared a coin with my mother. He unfortunately succumbed to a chronic illness in 2023,” Bhoke narrated as she fought back tears. Bhoke, 15, said she was willing to resume school and go after her dream of becoming a doctor but was worried about her three children, whom she solely fends for. “Natamani sana kurudi shule niliwacha nikiwa class six na sasa shida ni hawa watoto wangu nani atawachunga, mimi mwenyewe sina namna (I desire to go back to school because I dropped out at Standard Six. The challenge is, who will fend for my three children because I don’t have resources?” She posed. She is also worried that she may be unable to raise and educate her children without the help of well-wishers. Bhoke said that men who impregnate the girls married under Nyumba Mboke are not tied down by the community rules to take care of their offspring, and most of them walk away without care. Challenges of arranged marriages Daniel Mwita, an administrator in Gokeharaka, said Nyumba Mboke cultural practices had been abused and ruined the lives of many young girls, and he appealed for concerted efforts to reverse the situation. A Nyumba Mboke victim turned girl child rights activist, Maggie Bhoke Nchagua from the Kugisingisi area, recounted being married off at 16. “After the demise of my father, my mother took over the responsibility of taking care of me. Due to a lack of fatherly love and protection, I slipped and got married. Once married under Nyumba Mboke, girls are forced to fend for themselves. You only get shelter,” she recalled. Nchagua underscores the lack of joy in such marriages, stating that some other women often enter Nyumba Mboke unions due to the loss or separation from their husbands. “In Nyumba Mboke, the married girls receive no assistance from the woman they are married to or her family; instead, they are turned into domestic workers, toiling without payment. They are forced to sleep with many men who seldom take responsibility of their seed,” Nchagua said. Another victim, Pauline Mohabe, who underwent FGM at 12, got pregnant at 16, experienced divorce, and later found herself in a Nyumba Mboke marriage, described the marriage arrangement as the epitome of suffering. Nchangua is optimistic that deliberate empowerment programmes have helped emancipate young girls and women from the shackles of Nyumba Mboke. Girl Child Education in Migori The Forum for African Women Educationalists (FAWE) Kenya, through its Migori County coordinator Eva Ojwang, is among organisations deliberately enlightening Kuria community members on the benefits of education against retrogressive and archaic beliefs. “The goal is to ensure all girls who get pregnant while in school can resume their studies after delivery and go for their dream careers,” Jane Bhoke, a girl child’s rights activist and the director of the Universal Relief Foundation (URF). She challenged the government to merge forces with Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) to secure more girls by offering financial support and establishing and equipping rescue centres. Jane appealed for enhanced awareness creation among the community elders who push for regressive practices like Nyumba Mboke to ensure the practice ends. Agatha Wekesa, Deputy OCS Kehancha Police Station in Kuria West, vowed to work closely with civil society and other like-minded organisations to protect the girl child.
by Michael Ollinga Oruko