How to know a person is using you to heal from a previous heartbreak

 

There are millions of quotes about how love is one of the best things to happen to human beings and adorable pets. Love songs, movies, poems, notes, symbols, and actions have been created because of love. It’s a tale as old as time that makes the world go around for many.

For some, however, love is simply a joyride. In and out of a ‘situationship’/relationship without overstaying their welcome. Trailing broken hearts behind them.

One-night stands, love bets with buddies, friends with benefits, 90-day relationships, and committed relationships. One way or another, a broken heart is scheduled no matter how in love a couple was at their first date.

But this is not the worst of it. The worst part is if you find yourself entangling with a person who you will come to find out was simply using you to nurse a broken heart and then jump back into the dating pool with someone ‘more suitable’.

In other words, you end up becoming the rebound, the placeholder.

So, how do you open your eyes to know if a person approaching you intends on using you as a rebound?

Here are a few thoughts:

1. They rush you into a whirlwind romance without giving you the time to think about it. Day one, they are in your inbox telling you all the sexy and sweet nothings, by day four you are intimate and by day 10, you are an unofficial undeclared partner. You don’t have time to analyze there is a certain unexplained rush that only works to their benefit.
2. Their emotions will be all over the place. One minute, they are on a high around you but the minute they are triggered by something to remember their ex, you will be nursing a heartbroken person who won’t tell you they are dying inside but will tell you they are upset Manchester United is not winning any trophies in the past few years. At this point, they will close off their emotions to you, leaving you in limbo and unasked ‘what are we’ questions swirling in your head.
3. You will remain an unofficial, undeclared partner for a while and when you ask to make things official or meet their people, you will be given excuses to a point of even being ghosted. They will be reluctant to commit to you and their actions will reveal as much. This is the point you have to remember that if a person shows you who they are, believe them. Do not wait for words.
4. You will one day find yourself being compared to your ex, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It will become a sixth sense for them to always bring up their ex in conversations and then try and backtrack on what they said to not make you feel bad. Their focus on the past will ruin you and your hopeful heart. You are basically dating unresolved issues, not a partner.

By Winnie Mabel