Several months ago, I watched a Kenyan YouTube channel, which centred on the falling out of a young couple.
What caught my attention was the lady’s complaint that her live-in soon-to-be ex-boyfriend moved on too fast. She was suspicious that, all along, he had this planned out.
There was a he-say-she-say kind of situation, with both parties – and their allies – going on different YouTube channels to give their sides of the story.
Apparently, for what seemed like the longest time, the young man had been taking number two from his now estranged girlfriend and her family.
On the other hand, his live-in girlfriend thought their tiff was a small thing, which should not necessitate the drastic action he took.
When they had a tiff, the girl moved back to her parent’s house at night. The next morning, the man found a tenant to occupy their house, as he moved out.
“That was too quick,” the girl complained. “I think he has been secretly planning these moves for a long time.”
The girl was wrong. Most probably, this man had reached the end of his tether months or years ago. Unbeknownst to the lady, what she was living with was a shell.
Soul gone
The man’s soul was gone. And once a man’s soul is gone, it is only a matter of time before his body follows suit.
A man’s soul ups and leaves a relationship when he has been hurt one too many times, and his woman has refused to be accountable. It happens when he is wronged, time after hurting time, and no apology is forthcoming. Hurt souls are healed by a balm whose magic ingredients are apologies and repentance.
A man’s soul ups and leaves a relationship when he is put through hell. He may go through hell for season and reason – like, say, to see his kids through school – and when that is done, his body will depart to finally join his soul in its new peaceful abode.
A man whose soul has upped and left a relationship will move on at the speed of light. His soul moved on light years ago, and he was only bidding his time. Or he was waiting for the last straw; like your burned toast, which he used to love to bits, but now he is treating it like poison and walking from the dining table … and out of your life.
A man whose soul has upped and left a relationship will make sweet love to his woman, and reach spots her gynae never ever will, but his mind will be in other places … and beds. What the man is doing is fulfilling a matrimonial duty.
A man whose soul has upped and left a relationship will be the best provider in the world. He will move heaven and earth to make sure his family has everything. He may even take his family on expensive holidays.
However, the man is only playing a role as expected of him by society. He may play this role for years until, one day, something snaps, and he just walks out without a word.
“Well, why didn’t he say something?” his woman will ask, confused.
Darling, the man said everything that needed to be said. If he said it once, and never spoke a word about it again, it is probably because you made him walk on eggshells. Or was it your habit to take him on guilt trips? And a man can walk on eggshells for only so long before he seeks a place where he will walk proud and tall like a man.
Sometimes a man says everything – not verbally, though – but in a lingo that only “love-literate” ladies understand. BY DAILY NATION