My major undoing in my music career has been meeting opportunists who come in the name of helping me build my career but are after other interests.
My highlight in my four-year musical career is being able to be commended by musical greats like the late Achieng Abura, Suzzane Owiyo and many other renowned musicians for having a distinct and unique sound.
My win is being able to perform in my native language and people still feeling the vibe. I also use my music to push an initiative against girl child abuse.
There is an assumption that the Coast music industry is toxic. I am not sure about that. I believe if you stick to your lane you will rub shoulders with the right people. You have to work for what you want and have the right social capital as an artist.
A major challenge I have encountered as a female artist is being over-sexualized from interacting with people and even the way you dress.
When you are a woman it’s easy to penetrate the entertainment market but staying in the game has been the problem.
They say women are their worst enemies. Most female musicians don’t support each other, not because we don’t want to see each other thrive but we feel like we cannot share the same space and be successful.
Motherhood changes the way you view life. I now do things not to please others or prove anything but for those that depend on me. Most times it’s only your children who are thinking about you.
Yes, I’m married. It’s uncomplicated so long as there’s commitment, intimacy, and proper communication. You have to be each other’s cheerleaders and support at all times. Your opinions might be different but always get to a common ground.
A recent report indicated that Kenyan men are shunning marriage. From a psychological point of view, I feel it’s because of the expectations from both men and women which many at times are unrealistic.
Also with the growth of social media usage, there’s comparisons and standards that do not make sense. We want ‘perfect’ and hence we dehumanize the institution of marriage.
There’s also the part where the current generation of men was not socialized and taught how to deal with empowered women, hence they tend to shy away.
One misconception about us psychologists is that we are constantly ‘reading people’s minds’. I mean we also have lives to live.
Red flags in a man for me is one who is controlling which might mean he has low self-esteem. Also, lack of trust because he thinks you are doing what he might be doing.
Physical, emotional, mental, and substance abuse is also a deal breaker. Anger management issues and lack of accountability are red flags too. If a man cannot own up to their decision that’s a red flag.
What it takes a man to take Lorata out are composure and a proper approach. I’m a lady who likes serenity, and ambiance and am not a big fan of night clubs. Take me to new beautiful destinations.
It is ok for women to shoot their shots but you have to know how to deal with rejection because most men prefer being the pursuers.
I’m ok with my man admiring other women but not drooling, there are people that look good apart from your partner. And just as he sees beautiful women, they are also handsome men but the level of one’s self-control, love, loyalty, and trust is what really matters. BY DAILY NATION