Q: I am 36-old-father of two and have been married for five years. Recently, we separated from my wife because she accused me of being gay. I got angry and I told her that we should break up. I informed her that if she wanted our marriage back, then she must apologise. She said she will never do that. Now I’m thinking of breaking the marriage.
A: You have not provided a lot of information in your question but from what you have written, it seems that your marriage has some rather serious issues and an acute lack of trust which you will all need to overcome. If your wife thinks you are “gay” and you don’t want to prove to her that you are not, then there must be something wrong going on in your marriage. You have stayed in this marriage for five years and according to your letter, you separated recently meaning your marriage has been moving on well. You have not indicated what made your wife think you are gay and therefore I suggest you have a deeper exploration of the matter before making any decision of dissolution. Instead of becoming angry, you should delve to understand why she made such an assertion and explain yourself.
Please note that this is a grave issue that is threatening your marriage and should only be solved through a sincere way of communication. You, therefore, need to have a serious talk with her to prove your innocence. I sense that she has some reasons to back up her accusation of you and you could use that to clear yourself. It is important to know that for the same reasons she may no longer trust you and as such you seriously need help getting to the bottom of this. I suggest couples counseling so that you can discuss specific issues and what steps would work for you and your wife. This is an important step towards repairing your marriage bearing in mind that there are two innocent children in this marriage. Wishing you well. BY DAILY NATION