Hey, I’m Rachael, I am based in Nairobi and I just turned 26. I am a pharmacist by profession.
I have one baby girl who is six and am looking for a potential and serious man aged between 28 to 34years. He should be hard working, respectful, loving, caring, and ready to settle down.
You can reach me on rachaelkitheka33@gmail.com
Reader’s advice
It is good you want to settle down in marriage. Marriage is good and pleasant but only if it has two mature, compatible partners. It is not easy to find such a partner. It involves both a physical and spiritual search. In the visual you see the looks, character, and the exterior aspects while in the spiritual you ask God for directions. There are things you can’t see with your physical eyes. I wish you the best even as you look for the right partner.
– Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Mitume, Kitale
Men are natural hunters when it comes to dating and marriage. As a man, we enjoy the chase of the hunt. Don’t look for love, it will come to you in unexpected ways. Focus on your daughter and yourself and one day the stars will align, the moon will be full, and a single ray from the sun will shine down on your future. Just let it happen and unfold the way it is meant to. All the best.
– Fred Jausenge, Qatar
I don’t think this is a dilemma, but a lady who accidentally got pregnant at 20 and now desperately looking for a potential and serious man. Anyway, I wish you all the best.
– Benjamin Kibias, Nairobi
You sound loving, caring, responsible and a hard worker and I have no doubt that you will get a man with the same template. Good luck.
– Zack Omoro
Expert’s take
I have read your male profile criteria and in an ideal World the man you describe would be readily available through dial a delivery but the reality is the odds of meeting him by request are extremely slim.
All humans want to meet a perfect match but in most cases it is unachievable. The man who would deliver your expectations does exist but unfortunately, he does not advertise his character traits and potential abilities.
In the real world you must meet a pool of men and go out on a date to evaluate possibilities and know what’s out there.
Unless you have a one on one even when he might fit the bill on paper, you may meet him and decide otherwise.
I would advise you to take your time and research premium dating sites that provide services solely for individuals who are seeking out a community of registered people who want to settle down.
Reviews will help you select viable sites that have better chances of linking you with that man you hope to attract and for him to accept you and your child as a package. That is the avenue I recommend.
– Relationship Counsellor, Maurice Matheka
Next week’s dilemma
Hello, I’m JKT a 32-year-old man from Nakuru. My home county is Nandi Hills. Eight years ago while in college, I met a girl from my home village with whom we’re neighbours, we fell in love, had sex once and she got pregnant! Left with no choice, I had to abandon my studies to take care of her bearing in mind that her parents had thrown her out.
She was in form two and my parents told me to carry my own cross. I took her to my grandparent’s house where she stayed as I go back to construct a house. I had acquired two plots before joining college. She stayed with my grandparents as I continued hustling. I managed to construct a two-room house and a kitchen.
When she went into labour, I was informed she had to get a CS, after a one-week stay at the hospital.
All this time I was with my aunt, sleeping on a bench. No one from her family came. We were blessed with a baby girl but she had some complications and was put in a nursery for three more weeks! After a month in hospital, she was discharged. Imagine all this without a job and no support but thank God I had sheep that I sold to settle the hospital bill and buy basic amenities for mom and baby.
My girlfriend went back to my grandparent’s house as I went back to hustle. After three months it was now time to go and bring her so that we could now start our family.
Everything was good till her sister’s begun to demand that I take her back to school. Don’t forget that I had spent everything. I talked to my partner and she told there’s no need to stress because it’s not a must that she goes back to school but I assured her she must complete her studies no matter what. We lived for four months but the pressure from her siblings and her relatives forced me to seek for job far away from them and luckily I found work in Nakuru.
We agreed that after some time she would join me. After every two weeks I would visit them. After three months I asked her to join me in Nakuru but she refused. When I went over the weekend I found that she had carried all her belongings and went to live with her parents. She told me she couldn’t come with me to Nakuru. I got mad and carried my six-month-old baby to my sister’s at Eldoret. My grandparents and parents convinced me to return the baby.
I went back to work and swore not to get back together with her. For three months I was stressed up, and most nights I would cry.
Then one day she called me and said the child is unwell. We reconciled, and she moved to Nakuru where we lived together for one year, after which I decided to take her back to school. We were okay until the second term of her form four when she said she wanted to complete her studies at her home.
I talked to her but she couldn’t listen. I called our parents and they told her to complete her studies where she was. She accepted but one Saturday she packed her belongings and went to her sister’s house at Mosoriot. She stayed there for some time then came to sit for her KCSE exams but boarded at the school. I was distressed that I had sacrificed my studies, stood by her during birth, and taken her back to school.
I didn’t give up. When the results came out I went again with my parents and elders and she asked for forgiveness saying she was influenced by her friends and teachers in school to get out of the marriage and focus on her studies. She came back and I opened for her a Kibanda worth Sh10,000, selling fast food, and makaa.
One day she told me she wants to go to college and I told her to be patient. Kumbe, she didn’t like my idea that I should go first and complete my studies, and thereafter she will join. She started saying I had a girlfriend while she was away, and women were telling her so. She started demanding hair money every two weeks and took our child to an expensive school.
I didn’t resist. Then my job ended, and she had to provide as I looked for another one. I found one in Nyandarua for a month. We communicated daily. I came back after I was recalled from my previous job. When I came back she was always arguing saying I have a girlfriend, went through my phone and coincidentally saw a message from a lady saying ‘Morn dear’, she yelled at me, and packed and went! Later she texted me, ‘I have gone chunga mtoi wako!’
We stayed with my now six-year-old daughter, then a few weeks ago she picked the child up from school and went with her.
When I asked her why said the baby is hers. I’m lost as to what I should do. I have talked to many people and they tell me I should leave her because she’s not reliable. Kindly what should I do? Please help because I’m contemplating bad things. BY DAILY NATION