He rarely talked. He hid our marriage certificate and the last time I saw it was on our wedding day when I put it in his pocket.
Q: I have been married for the last five years. When we were courting my husband used to love me a lot and he promised me happiness. He used to own a kinyozi and he wasn’t earning much by then. When we visited our home the first time to ask for my hand in marriage, they gave my husband a nasty welcome. My brothers and my father talked ill of him and told him that I cannot get married to such a poor man. It hurt him so much and he later wept uncontrollably. Finally, we got married but my brothers never liked it. My husband changed immediately after marriage. He rarely talked. He hid our marriage certificate and the last time I saw it was on our wedding day when I put it in his pocket. He refused me to ever visit my home. He is too cold. What should I do? Why is he hiding our certificate? Help aunt, I’m devastated.
A: Your marriage seems to have had some cracks from the beginning. I sense a lot of regrets and mistrust in your union according to your letter. You sound so unhappy; I empathise with you. Your family could have rejected your husband either because there was something they knew about him that you never knew or because he was simply not financially stable. You say he changed immediately after marriage. Could this be an indication that he wasn’t a good man after all and could just have been wearing a mask through courtship? The fact that he doesn’t allow you to visit your people and hides your marriage certificate could be a red flag that he is not a transparent man. Another scenario would be that he could have been so hurt by the way your family treated him, and he could be venting the anger and bitterness to you. This shows that he has never forgiven them. The hiding of the certificate is rather strange; it might show that he may have regrets over his decision to marry you and he has hidden it to avoid such a reminder. All in all, as sensitive this case seems, you need to confront it head-on. Approach him courageously but soberly and talk preferably with parents of both sides. In case its bitterness he has towards your family, then they need to accept their mistake and ask for his forgiveness. You must have a meeting with your family and discuss this even though it happened five years ago. If he is disinterested in the marriage, please know that staying in it will make you unhappier. BY DAILY NATION