My husband does not want another child, should I trick him into adding one?
Q: I have been married for four years and we have a daughter. I proposed that we have our second-born last year and my husband protested. He said that he doesn't want another baby and that I should live with the reality. I'm stressed because I need another baby. I'm thinking of having one and telling him that it was accidental. I'm having other weird thoughts of getting an "outside" marriage pregnancy. I love my husband but at times I think of separation because to me he is selfish. Please help. Distressed woman.
A: Thank you for your question. You sound frustrated and I empathise with you. From the look of things, you never discussed the issue of the number of children that you wanted to have with your husband before marriage. This was a key issue that you overlooked as you could have decided whether to enter into this marriage or not. You say you love your husband and I suggest you give dialogue a second chance. Bugging him is not a good way to communicate and it might not make him want a child either. The matter is a sensitive one and unless you give it the correct approach, it might not be fruitful. In a calm discussion, let him know your feelings towards his refusal to have another baby and give him time to present his side of this issue. With no charged emotions, discuss the pros and cons of having another baby and make a sound decision which will not promote a rift in your relationship. If you try to trick him into having more children or cheat on him, your marriage might end making things worse for you and your child. Focus on finding a solution to your conflict instead of having it your way. If you decide to separate, chances are you will find someone else to share life but this will also affect the other child and your happiness in the long run. I suggest you think of how much you love him and how much you want to be with him and your daughter. Ask yourself whether it is worth trading him for another baby. BY DAILY NATION
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