I met my dad as an adult, his wife refuses to accept me

 

Q: I met my dad four years ago and we bonded well. Now, his life will never be the same again since this discovery because his wife would not stop stressing him about me. The wife loathes me and I know this from the lies she tells my dad about me and sends my mum texts to mock her. I have tried to live with these events or at least adjust but I feel it's depressing me and I don't know what to do to let his family be what they used to be before my appearance. I still need to relate with my dad though. Please advise.

A: You are going through emotional abuse from your stepmother. I suggest you talk to someone about it and ask for help. This may be your close relative, your life coach, or a counselor. If nothing changes, keep telling others until someone takes action. Don't be discouraged if the first person you tell does not know how to help you. You might have to tell more than one person to find someone who will step in to end the abuse. They will also mediate between you and your parents. Please don't let your abusive step-parent intimidate you into keeping secrets. Emotional abuse can do a lot of damage. You will need to break the negative beliefs and thought patterns created by the abuse, and a counselor will help make the process easier. If you are worried about how to pay for counseling, consider that most schools offer free, confidential counseling services. Meanwhile, you need to have an evaluation and try to do what you can to avoid the abuse. This means recognising the 'triggers' (things said or done) that set your stepmother off. Once you do this, avoid doing them, and somewhat lessen the frequency of the abuse. The abuse often may affect your self-esteem and it is important to define and focus on your positive traits. You must believe that no matter what an emotionally abusive parent might have told you, you are a worthy person with good qualities.    BY DAILY NATION