Q: I have been experiencing anger problems because of my husband’s betrayal. While he is trying to do everything he can to save our marriage, I get snarky with him. I’m angry all the time. I feel like I want revenge for his misdeeds. I want him to suffer too. While I know this isn’t healthy, I am yet to share with anyone because I do not know who to trust. How do I get past the issue?
Betrayed woman.
Dear Betrayed,
I gather you are feeling angry and sad after the said betrayal. I am not sure what the real cause of the betrayal is, but I can tell you that vengeance is not the best way to deal with the issue.
Instead, I would suggest that you look for a way to deal with your anger that will help you approach the matter in sobriety. Keeping quiet on the issue and not sharing with anyone will make the situation worse and accumulate more bitterness. Share this issue with a close friend or a family member. While you may think that it’s grave to share, chances are someone else may have gone through the same and come out successfully. I realise that you are crowded by emotions, but I advise that you approach this matter in a non-confrontational manner if you really want to save your marriage. Have a heart-to-heart discussion with your hubby, be clear about your feelings and what may have caused this painful breach of trust, so that you can figure out together what to do next.
As you each learn how the other feels and thinks, you may develop more empathic responses to each other, and the marriage will be strengthened. Alternatively, you may fail to resolve the conflict and I suggest therapy.
A marriage therapist can also help you decide if the individual treatment might be helpful. My success wishes. BY DAILY NATION