Since the pandemic rudely checked in, our relationships have not been the same. We have been forced to re-evaluate our life choices, preferences, and even our love lives.
Relationship experts say that the health crisis has taken away well-established routines which offered stability, comfort, and rhythm for couples. Many of us are struggling to cope, uncertainty is giving way to anxiety which increases relationships breakdown.
On the flip side, the pressure has brought in good news to some couples, who now appreciate the importance of spending time together, thus rekindling their love.
Psychologists believe that working from the home norm has created a strong platform for families to be together thus, increasing a strong bond which is key in children’s development. We pooled three women in different stages of their romantic lives to share their highs and lows of stay close even when the pandemic looms:
Increased online interaction
Redempter Mbula, 29, an Agricultural economist from Nairobi is among many people who met their partners online over the past year and have had to rely on technology to keep the flames alive.
Dating trends show that online love grew immensely as social distancing measures were implemented, recreational facilities closed and many stayed indoors.
Dating.com reported that there was an increase of 82 percent on global online dating whereby video chatting over bumble also increased by 93 percent in early March this year.
“I have been working from the house since March last year and have been having online meetings, interactions, data collection, webinars, and conferences. With the pressure of working from home, technology became the option for me to interact with my partner from South Africa who I met online. We haven’t met physically but have been engaging in more meaningful conversations. Although video calls have been an efficient way to communicate, we have had fights and disagreements that make me feel if we had met physically the issues would be easily resolved,” says Redempter.
Married, for better or for worse
Yvonne Munee Gitari, a 34-year-old mother of three has enjoyed quality time with her family during the pandemic Photo | Pool
Yvonne Munee Gitari, a 34-year-old mother of three, says that not all families have been negatively impacted by the restrictions, reporting benefits such as finding new hobbies and developing positive traits such as gratitude, appreciation, and tolerance.
“Working from home as a couple has allowed us to enjoy cuddles, afternoon naps, and meals together with my husband and children. This kind of quality family time was rare. My husband too is working from home and we are learning minute details about each other. It is like we are making up for all the time we spent apart because of my husband’s tight work schedule.
I am surprised by how cooking together has turned out to be more romantic than a date night out. The bond with our children has also grown. Often, we take drives away from the city and sometimes engage in reading and storytelling which promotes bonding. My husband is still finding his footing though, and now that schools have resumed, we have been dropping and picking the children to and from school.
Despite the challenges that the pandemic has brought in, I am grateful that I have had more time with my husband,” says Yvonne
My marriage ended
Divorce rates are increasing around the world, and relationship experts warn that the pandemic may induce more break-ups. Leading British law firms recorded a 122 percent increase in divorce inquiries between July and October 2020, compared with the same period last year. Plagued by issues such as lack of quality time and diverging priorities, Joyce (not her real name), 33, a businesswoman from Kisumu ended a two years’ relationship in April this year.
“Before the pandemic, we were not spending many hours together. The confinement brought frustration, raised insecurities, and triggered my anxieties. I realised that I have been married to a different person.
I recall many incidents where I watched him texting his multiple girlfriends and I would secretly check his phone. I was shocked to realise that my husband had multiple affairs and two of these women had babies with him. This triggered so much bitterness and it occurred to me we had different expectations of the relationship.
Covid-19 made it worse as he would secretly visit these women. There was a lot of pent-up unhappiness. The increased conflicts due to communications issues signaled the end of our relationship. The pandemic definitely played a big part in us ending the relationship. It’s often said, “what you don’t know does not hurt you”. I tried raising our differences but my husband was very defensive.
I couldn’t stand the fact that he had multiple partners and I decided to end the marriage.
The break-up was very painful as I had to stay home because of the fear of contracting the virus. I have been relying on social media to interact with people across the globe and this has helped me cope with the loss of my marriage,” Joyce concludes. BY DAILY NATION