Help me accept the fact that my boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore

 

Q:I left my husband due to never ending cases of abuse, and after six months, I got into a relationship with another man. However, after a while of interacting, my new man realised that my husband was one of his acquaintances and used that as basis to end our relationship. I was okay with that decision at first, but after a few days I realised that I couldn't stop loving him. I kept pursuing him through phone calls and messages until he blocked me.

It's been one year since I separated from my ex-husband's acquaintance, but I can't stop trying to get through to him. I am always stressed and I cry every day because he is always in my heart and I want to talk to him again. I'm trying very hard to stop loving him, but I can't. I even tried to fall in love with another man, but I had to end the relationship because the new man couldn't compare to the man I love. How can I make myself accept the fact that he is gone?

A:
Your relationship is over. You have feelings of rejection that have numbed your sense of self and wrecked your balance. After breaking up with your husband, you seem to have entered a rebound relationship to fill the emotional void. This was the first wrong move because you carried all the baggage to the new relationship. You should first have taken time to heal, evaluate the break up and regained your self-esteem. Now, that is water under the bridge. Let us handle the break up.

Your ex-boyfriend made it clear that he is no longer interested in the relationship. He had already decided to leave, and just used the issue of his friendship with your ex-husband as an excuse. That is the cold reality you need to accept. He does not love you anymore. He does not want any communication with you and he has even blocked you from his phone. How now can you love him if he does not love you back? According to your letter, it seems you also do not love him.

Loving another man in order to forget another is a true indication that you are emotionally unstable and you need urgent counseling. You are not in love – you are obsessed with this man. I therefore suggest you take this man off your mind and move on before you sink into depression. It is evident that your ex-boyfriend has already moved on and reconciliation is not possible. And still you persist? How can you ever move on? Consider sharing the issue with your close friends and family members. They will give you the support you need. Wishing you success.    BY DAILY NATION