Please introduce me to the lonely, successful woman in your column

 

Hi Pastor,

I am a born again Christian. I read your article on June 16 about this lonely and successful woman and would like to be connected with her because I am ready for a serious relationship. 

Hey,

I hope you are fine. Please can you connect me with the 30-year-old woman who is single, successful and lonely?

Thank you. 

Hello,

I’m 33 and would like to be linked up with the 30-year-old woman from your column last week. I am very serious. 

Hello,

I read the article about the 30-year-old woman who is single and I trust that I can be her man of choice. Please connect me with her. 

Hi All,

Thank you for writing in. A week or so ago, this woman who was 30, successful in her career, earned a decent salary and drove a nice car wrote in to express what she was going through. She was lonely and never had the opportunity to have a serious boyfriend. Among other things, one issue that stood out was the need to know if there were any steps, she could take to get a serious boyfriend. It is a bit surprising how her predicament has elicited so much interest. You are but only a fragment of the men who have written stating their interest in her. This brings me to conclude two things: 

First, I agree with King Solomon who said, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” I believe Solomon is in agreement with us. A woman or man desiring marriage must be of such character as to evoke such demand. Since she is more precious than rubies, we have to work hard at finding her. Without focusing too much on her, my question would be, “Where will this rare woman be found?” 

This requires that we deal with a deeper problem in relationships referred to as, “Finding Mr/Mrs Right.”

As tedious as the searching may appear, we only get what we see as our best when we remain focused and committed to it. There are many great men and women around us if only we opened our eyes to the fact that the spouse you are looking for is also looking for someone who fits her bill. Since we are not a dating site, it may be difficult to connect her to each of the men who have made the request. 

The second issue is the fact that you have to be willing to pay the price for your jewel. The more precious you consider it to be, the greater the sacrifice you will have to undergo. My wife believes that you need to shop until you drop. In essence, when you know what you want, you have to be willing to look for it until you find it. Relationships are no different. 

This is what sacrificial love is. Since this is not a dating site, we tend to the approach of helping individuals learn to connect to the path they need to take to get the love of their life. What comes easy sometimes is difficult to guard with all your might. The opposite is true for those things you treasure. 

There is something special to looking for and finding the love of your life. My involvement could just be the worst thing that could happen. I guess that people can trust one who connects them in this way and may forget what it takes to be curious and in the right spaces where the one you are looking for could be found. If by chance people who have sent their queries to this column end up meeting accidentally and falling in love, the better. My prayer is that you all bear with me and let’s all believe in the power of execrating that the best is yet to come. So, remain focused, be the right man with the right values and in the right places and the connection to the love of your life will happen.

I am looking for a good woman to marry

Hi Pastor Kitoto,

I'm a 30-year-old man, employed and unmarried. I have tried to get a serious girl to settle with in vain. The ones I find are too insincere and of worrying behaviour. Should I just give up the hunt or keep pressing on?

Please advise me

Hi,

Like I mentioned to the gentlemen above, finding your best mate may take time. I am glad about one thing: you are being cautious and mindful of the fact that values, mannerisms and behaviours matter in a relationship. Giving up is always the easier option. Maybe the next hill could just unveil your desired destination. I have met and counselled men and women alike who feel the same as you. The truth is, we live in a morally deprived world, full of people with selfish agendas. However, just like all that glitters is not gold, I would also say that there is always a glimmer of hope in all you are feeling now. 

Please note that just because you can’t find someone, it does not mean that there is a shortage of good women out there. Could it be that you have been looking in the wrong places and you may need to change? Or could it be just that the bar you have set has saved you from the chance of having to marry the wrong person may be because of qualities that are temporal? I encourage you to maintain your focus and not give up the search.    BY DAILY NATION