My baby daddy doesn't care or provide for us, yet I still love him

 

Q: I am Aurelia and I am 22. I am unmarried with a son and I am still dating my baby daddy who I love but he has never taken responsibility. When I ask why he doesn't he tells me that I should be patient. He seems not to care how we are and only calls for some minutes on Sunday. He claims to be always busy with his job. I can't love him anymore because it does not make sense to love someone who cannot give you his time. He does not send me a single cent. Please advise. 

A: It is clear that the father of your child is not committed to this relationship. You have not elaborated how your union began and it seems that how it was founded is the cause of all this drift. It is very important to have an inner evaluation. For instance, if you were just dating and you accidentally got pregnant, that means that there was no commitment from the start. As such, the arrival of the baby will not force your boyfriend to be responsible. That is now water under the bridge and what is now important is yourself and the baby. All the indicators show that your boyfriend is no longer interested in you or the baby. He does not care which means you are not a priority in his life. Telling you to be patient is not enough when he is not supporting his child. 

You can ask for child support because the child has a right to upkeep from two parents. Consider talking to him about supporting the child through a family mediator. Let him know that he must support the baby even if he is not in a relationship with you. It is very key you focus on yourself too. You need to start your life and have financial stability. Think of looking for a job or start a small business. It is unwise just to sit and keep contacting your boyfriend who is not interested. Concentrate on yourself and the child and eventually, you will meet someone who will truly love you.   BY DAILY NATION