Q: I have been in a relationship for the last five years. We are planning to have a wedding in two months. We live together with my fiancé and he has started to change. He comes home late drunk and when I ask him he hurls insults at me. Worst of he beat me up the other day. I have tried to change him with no success. No one knows about this even my family; they are busy preparing for our wedding. I love this man but I’m feeling so frustrated. Does he love me? What should I do?
A: The abrupt change of behaviour in your fiancée could have been caused by several factors. It could be due to unresolved issues, emotional stress or he simply wants to get out of the relationship. You are already in an abusive relationship (both physical and emotional) and this is an indicator that you are heading into an abusive marriage.
Whether you love your fiancée or not, it is wrong for him to abuse you. The fact that he has not changed despite you talking to him signals doom for the relationship. You seem to give your wedding the priority other than what matters in a relationship – love. A wedding will only take a day but the aftermath is what matters here. The truth is that getting out of an abusive relationship is safer now before you hurt badly either mentally or physically. The best way to deal with an abusive boyfriend is not to deal with one. You need to disclose this issue to both families and put all the wedding preparations on hold until this issue is sorted out. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Also, love should come before marriage and not the other way round. BY DAILY NATION