You don’t have to live your life by other people’s rules. Instead, choose your own path. One in which you do what’s really important
It’s hard to stand out from the crowd, because the world seems designed to make us all the same. Children want to be like their friends. Teenagers feel driven to wear the latest styles. The clothes industry encourages us into ‘this season’s colours.’ There’s an unwritten ‘dress code’ at work…
This pressure to conform is a powerful influence on our behaviour, and can easily make you do things that conflict with your attitudes and beliefs.
Like imagine you’re with a bunch of colleagues. You’re discussing some controversial issue, and realise that everyone shares a view that’s different from yours. So do you say what you really think? But that risks a confrontation with the group. Which is how the Republican Party in America gradually became so extremist.
Misleading information
So conformity seems to be a very important part of human nature. But you can be different!
Start by no longer accepting what people tell you at face value. Like never again read anything online without wondering what’s behind it. Maybe the information is biased, or even totally misleading. So evaluate everything!
And listen hard to your intuition. It can warn you that you’re being manipulated, or when you’re about to do something bad. Because you always know right from wrong. So listen to that feeling, and think about the effect your actions might have on the people in your life. Sometimes it’s a tough call, but it’s better to stay on that straight and narrow path.
Some evildoers do seem to have it made. But they don’t sleep at night. Nobody really likes them. Inside they’re sad, lonely and scared. It’s better to be loved.
Most people spend their whole lives chasing after happiness and wealth. But fancy possessions and money are never enough. Because life is about more than material success. So don’t do anything just because people say you should.
Real values
Like only go to college to study something you love so much that your studies are a joy. And don’t feel you have to go at all if, like Bill Gates, you have a better idea!
Conformists never question authority. They’re easily intimidated. They sit at their desks all week, hardly really working, bored out of their minds. Don’t be one of them. Find a job you care deeply about. And figure out how to do it more efficiently. So you have plenty of time for your family.
Because you don’t have to live your life by other people’s rules. Instead, choose your own path. One in which you do what’s really important. Like being kind. Making time for your loved ones. Being loyal to your friends. Keeping promises. Teaching your children real values.
So decide on your priorities and values, and stick with them. Because for a life to feel meaningful, it has to achieve more than just happiness. Happiness is about enjoying the present. Meaning is about dedicating yourself to the future. And that’s the best feeling there is in this world.