….. It was so hard to adjust to the new lifestyle, but that was not even a bad experience until our father fell ill and all hell broke loose.
That was the beginning of a nightmare. Remember he had lost his job and we were literally surviving off our mother’s salary and savings.
I had never seen my mother in such a low mood until she got his results from the hospital.
My father was really sick and the worst part is that he knew he was sick all along but never said anything.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was just from running some errands and then my mother called me and she was like ‘your father’s condition has worsened.’ I felt weak and I wasn’t sure how to take or rather consume the news.
I rushed to the hospital, and the sight of him just brought tears to my eyes.
His body was being supported by a machine and no one ever wants to see their loved one in such a state.
My mother was so sad and couldn’t even construct a clear statement or sentence.
I had to step up and be the man that I was raised to be.
So I talked to my mother about his condition and she told me the doctors had said that his condition was not good and there was only much they could do.
I was so pissed at how the world was treating us, especially my parents because they were always hardworking; but here we were so desperate to see our father and a husband get better.
I pulled my mother away and we had a small chat. I said something to my mother that I still think I should never have mentioned.
I suggested that we should try and ‘pinch’ some money from the savings account so that we could try and settle his hospital bills so that the bill does not pile up and become a burden later.
My mother literally gave me a look that I will never forget. (If you are an African child, you know that look your mum gives you when she doesn’t agree with your actions).
I received that look that day. I had to keep quiet and just let her decide on a way forward even though I knew deep down she was not in the right state to make a decision.
So I let her be. All my family members, that is my sister and brother, tried as hard as they could to inquire about our father’s state.
I had to lie to them at times so as not to stress them even more. As you know, when you are the oldest you have to play that role perfectly.
After a while, our father was discharged and we were allowed to take him back home but he needed to have a nurse or a doctor on stand by.
Days went by, then it led to months and his health improved. He even started taking small walks.
But one day when he was taking his usual walks (he never liked it when someone watched his every move. We all know how our fathers are), he fainted.
Lucky for us, one of my siblings’ friends was walking by and saw him faint. He called my sister and explained what had happened.
My sister immediately called me and in a really sad voice, she told me that she had received news that our dad had fainted while taking his usual walks.
That statement broke me to pieces; I even got confused. I asked her if there was any action they had taken and she said they called a cab to rush him to a health facility so I rushed to the hospital.
My sister and mother were ‘balling’ and I was equally overwhelmed by emotions but I had to stay strong for them (See how society makes men feel like they shouldn’t express their emotions yet they are in pain?)
I asked about his condition but the nurses and doctors were not giving us a clear answer and this is a problem with our country.
Information is never communicated clearly especially if you’ve taken your loved one to a public hospital. So we had to wait for a clear response.
After a while, the doctor who was attending to our dad came back and said that his condition was not good and that they are trying to save his life.
That is one day I never want to remember because my mother’s reaction to the news was not good.
The doctor said that his condition was worsening and there wasn’t much they could do as doctors and that we should be ready for anything.
The only thing I could think of was holding my mother and hugging her tight just to exhume some warmth into her life despite what we were going through.
After making sure that my family was okay, I had to go and get something for them to eat.
At this point, I’m not even hungry. I just want to make sure that my family is okay. As I was leaving the hospital to go get some food for my people, I see the face of someone whom I had not seen for years.Guess what? It was my ex-girlfriend.
Amanda, the one chic who made me almost go into depression.
Well, I will one day give you a story about the experience I had with Amanda. We exchanged pleasantries with Amanda then she tells me her mother couldn’t breath properly.
This was not the time to do this. So I just expressed how sorry I was for what her mother was going through. I excused myself and went to get some food for my family members.
Upon returning to the hospital, I could hear really loud cries and kept wondering what was going on, until I got to my father’s room and everything made sense.
My father was no more. He had rested. I didn’t have enough strength to deal with the situation so I sat on the floor….
Have you ever lost a parent and understood how painful it is to adopt to the news or that situation? It’s very hard and it was hard for me.
I had to just leave and get some air because I couldn’t believe my dad was gone. Where do I even start?
Upon stepping outside, I see Amanda and she can’t even speak well. She balled on my chest. I just had to let her have her moment.
She later on got the strength to express herself. She only said, ‘My mom is no more’.
I broke in more ways than one…