My name is Jack. I dated this lady which led to the birth of a baby girl. Months to giving birth, she got married to another man, cut all contact with me, and even changed her phone number and all her social media accounts. She told me that she had a miscarriage. Later, I realised that she gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. I even went to the hospital during delivery and they were very shocked to see me. Six years later, she wants me to either marry her or offer her child support. When she rejected me, I didn’t have a job, but God blessed me with a permanent job. I’m currently not in any relationship as I have been demoralised ever since. I hate her and do not want anything to do with her and the baby who she has poisoned against me, and who she registered the other man as the father. What should I do? The daughter told me that I am bad because I abandoned her mother in the hospital. This broke my heart.
The husband she left me for was beaten by an angry mob when he was caught stealing. He developed spinal cord injuries and he may never walk again.
What should I do? Please help.
Readers’ advice
The case is simple and straight forward. She ditched you and got married to the other guy. It seems she was already dating the other guy, and he was told it’s his child. You were broke and she figured you can’t raise a family. This is an opportunistic woman who can’t be trusted. But the child seems to know you are the father. Although she has the wrong attitude towards you, she is a victim, treat her well, buy her gifts, and pay her fee directly. Later on, she will realise the truth. As for her mother, she should take care of her husband. Jkmagoto
Right from the beginning, you were told that the child is not yours. What else do you want if I may ask?
Let the lady handle her own stress. From what you say, it seems you have been trolling them. If all her contacts were changed, how did you get to know all these? From the husband’s mob beating, spinal cord damage, may not walk again? Even talking to this little girl to a point of being reminded of abandonment. Truth is said you are also interested in this lady; you have lost focus here bro. You are dating somebody’s wife. Stop it!
Let her take care of her confusion. Look for a lady who will take care of your needs, not this gold digger. If you are involved in an accident today, she will leave you too. Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo
Sorry, bro. Child support is a must as enshrined in the Constitution of Kenya. I doubt if the child could be yours and so before you give in to the woman’s demands consider going for DNA. Andrew Kiriago
Accept it happened and move on with your life. Love sometimes is painful but it doesn’t mean you can’t love again. Stay strong and let your heart learn to forgive and forget. The girl is innocent and she doesn’t know the truth. If she can understand find a way to tell her the truth. Charles Mbugua, Olkalou Nyandarua county
The first step should be a DNA test to determine if the girl is your daughter. If indeed she is your daughter, you can never run away from responsibilities. After all, blood is thicker than water. Visit the nearest Children’s office for assistance. Calvin Queens
It is hurting that your ex told your child that you abandoned her in hospital whereas it is her who wanted to cover up. The woman doesn’t want you but what she wants is the source of upkeep for them! I suggest you look for a way to cater to your child. She is innocent and needs to be detoxified from the poison her mother fed her little innocent mind. Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa, Kitale.
This lady is blackmailing you. You should not marry someone whom you don’t love simply because there is a child involved. She is seeking you out because her plans did not work out as anticipated. It’s also not clear whether you are the real father of the girl. You have to stand your ground and let her know you won’t marry her. Regarding child support, you should insist on a paternity test. If she turns out to be your daughter, you have a responsibility to support her. John Wambugu
Expert take
I do not believe that a relationship between you and her considering your history would harness any productive bond. What you need to rethink is your connection with your daughter. Poisoned against you or not, you should not have negative energy towards her. She is your child and blameless. If anything you have the chance to be her dad without demonising her mother. Show her the real version of you. Please note, what the birth certificate says is only a registry of data. You however are her biological father and you may regret walking away from your flesh and blood.
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