Wednesday’s signing of the political deal between the ruling Jubilee party, the Wiper Democratic Party and Chama Cha Mashinani (CCM) was something akin to a polygamous wedding without the groom being present.
While the leaders of both Wiper and CCM were excitedly present, the Jubilee party’s leader Uhuru Kenyatta, who is also the President of Kenya, was evidently absent, leaving ruling party’s lowly factotums execute the deal that would ordinarily require the presence of the boss.
Even though he was supposed to attend, Uhuru did not show up but Kalonzo was not about to allow this small detail spoil perhaps his party’s biggest day since the 2017 presidential poll.
He took the rostrum and, in an excitable fashion, went into the trouble of explaining to the audience the groom’s absence.
“I called the President this morning,” he started off, perhaps introducing a matter that everyone present was thinking but could not bring themselves into saying. “I told him not to come because Covid-19 is not a disease to joke around with. It is a dangerous disease and I have asked him to place State House under a lockdown as he did on the country.”
Always predictable, Mr Kalonzo has a knack of displaying an unusual excitement even when the political deals are of modest nature as was the case on Wednesday, or even when he is competing against himself.
His excitement was not out of place. Neither was it one off.
During the burial of his father, Mr Musyoka, in a similar excited fashion endeared himself to the President, going to the extent of declaring himself as the President’s “mtu wa mkono”.
“From today, let no one separate me and my brother Uhuru. I have accepted to run his errands. Those who will attempt to interfere will see my other side,” he thundered at his father’s burial.
It was a statement that attracted fire and fury from among his critics, with Makueni Governor Kivutha Kibwana accusing the former Vice President of getting to excited and entering into a deal that has little to offer the people of Ukambani.
Just two years ago, at the height of 2017 presidential campaigns, Kalonzo had to fight off rumours that he was quietly working on a scheme that would have seen him decamp to Jubilee to support President Kenyatta’s reelection.
While such rumours were in vogue and touched on every other candidate, Kalonzo felt compelled to respond, accusing the Jubilee operated State machinery of engaging propaganda against him.
“I would rather die than comprise my conscience,” he said, swearing never to work with Jubilee.
While such propaganda are part of the political arsenal, especially when the subject is not known to be firm on any issue, it is the tough language that he employs that exposes the former VP to the kind of political machinations he has had to push back in his long political career.
Having been literally dragged from Nasa to Jubilee Party at the height of 2017 repeat presidential election, Isaac Ruto went into political hibernation from whence he returned this week, with his own tale.
“We were the first party to enter into a handshake with Jubilee party,” he said, on Wednesday at Jubilee party headquarters, in a statement that was more of revisionism than reality.
The first, and last, time he was seen in Jubilee was a tumultuous rally at Kapkatet grounds in Kericho, a couple of days after the Supreme Court had nullified the August 8 presidential poll.
“Moving together doesn’t mean abandoning our cause. We want a handshake after every election not a chaotic country.”
Too superfluous to explain so many questions that followed his exit from Nasa, into Jubilee and then into a political hibernation that he only came out recently.